Paradigm of Life
Imagine travelling in a quiet metro coach on a peaceful Sunday morning. Passengers are either absorbed in their newspapers or gazing outside at the passing scenery. The only sound is the gentle hum of the moving train.
At one stop, a man boards the coach with his two young children. Almost immediately, the children begin running around, shouting, hitting the seats, and snatching newspapers from fellow passengers. Within moments, the calm atmosphere of the coach is completely disturbed. The father, however, appears to do nothing to restrain them.
Naturally, irritation builds. You feel annoyed—at the children for their behavior and at the father for his apparent indifference. When your patience is exhausted, you finally confront him, asking sharply why he isn’t doing anything to control his kids.
The man looks up and replies quietly, “Yes, I suppose I should. We just came from the hospital where their mother passed away about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.”
What will be your reaction now?
Before speaking to the father, you were seeing the situation through a particular lens. You assumed the children were poorly brought up, lacked discipline, and did not know how to behave in public. You also judged the father to be careless and irresponsible. This was your Paradigm A about the situation.
When you heard the father’s response, your perception of the same situation shifted completely. This new understanding is your Paradigm B of the same situation.
With Paradigm A, you felt anger and irritation. With Paradigm B, those emotions disappeared and were replaced by empathy and a genuine willingness to help.
This is an example by Stephen R. Covey in his popular book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He describes a paradigm as the way we “see” the world—how we perceive, understand, and interpret it. Just as a map represents a particular territory, a paradigm represents our explanation, theory, or mental model of reality. It’s the lens through which we make sense of everything we experience.
Each of us carries a theory or mental model about life in our subconscious mind. Through this inner model, we seek answers to some of life’s most fundamental questions: how life should be lived, what is the purpose of life, what relationships truly mean, and what defines success in life etc. This theory or mental framework, residing in the subconscious, can be called our Paradigm of Life.
What is the importance of the Paradigm of Life?
In the train example, we saw how closely paradigms are linked to our reactions. Our paradigm of life influences our actions, and over time these actions develop into habits. Needless to say, habits have immense power in shaping our lives.
Mahatma Gandhi said, “ Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny.”
How does our paradigm about life develop?
As we learn and grow, we gradually form a mental model about life. Our upbringing, education, family, friends, and life experiences all contribute to shaping the paradigm we hold.
What we achieve in life—or, in other words, how we live our life—largely depends on our paradigm of life.
Is there a right paradigm of life? The common opinion would be no. The usual reasoning is that each individual holds their own view of life, and that success itself is relative. Is this opinion true?
Can this paradigm change? Definitely yes. As seen in the example above, paradigm A changed to paradigm B. Such change can be small and incremental, or it can be profound. When the change is significant, we call it a paradigm shift.
What triggers a change in paradigm? In the Sunday morning train example, it was the father’s response. In essence, it is new information entering our mind that alters our existing theories or mental models about life. This new information may come from reading books, learning through others, from a significant life experience or even could arise intuitively from within.
Since we experience life through our paradigm, a limited one can prevent us from seeing some of life’s most important aspects. I would like to share an example from my own life that brings this out.
During 2018–2019, I went through what I would describe as a midlife crisis. Despite having a successful career and a happy family, I felt a deep sense of emptiness within. Neither a job promotion, an additional house, a bigger car, nor a foreign trip could fill this void. I turned to reading in search of answers. I explored science to understand the universe, psychology to understand the human mind, and eventually spirituality.
As spirituality captured my interest, I began exploring spiritual truths in depth and practiced meditation with great dedication. This journey led to a profound shift in my paradigm of life, replacing the one I had formed over nearly 50 years. I refer to this as the Spiritual Paradigm of Life.
What is this Spiritual Paradigm of Life? There could be many theoretical explanations. However, I would like to share a few key changes in my own mental model of life—changes that I am personally experiencing after this shift.
- I discovered an absolute purpose in life that is neither materialistic nor driven by mental gratification. Once I realized that my outer nature is different from my inner nature, understanding who I truly am became the sole purpose of my life. Spiritual study and meditation became the primary means to achieve this. This single, absolute purpose is now the central driving force of my life, giving it deep meaning and direction.
- I now understand what lies within my control and what does not. Our lives are governed by the laws of nature, and in accordance with these laws, life experiences unfold over time. My responsibility is to perform my duties sincerely, without anxiety about the outcomes. Whatever the experience may be, a contented mind and an attitude of surrender to the results can make life truly beautiful.
- I have come to realize that the mind that worries about the future or regrets the past is not my true self. Except for when I am engaged in a specific task, with my mind moving inward, I find myself in the present.
Ever since nature has existed, there have been laws of nature. Spiritual teachings have taught this knowledge since ancient times. The only difference is our paradigm.
Many may still doubt whether a spiritual paradigm is the correct way to understand life. The answer is not straightforward. In today’s age of science, our rational minds often resist spirituality. How can intellect-based reasoning comprehend intuitive knowledge that extends beyond the limits of intelligence itself?
Life can be fully perceived and understood through a spiritual paradigm, making it complete. Without this perspective, we remain blind to certain dimensions of existence, and life feels like living only half of what it truly is.